I Thought I Saw Tote Bag

Tote Bag

Lately, this kind of stuff is really really interesting for me. I have two. The End.


Big Fake Smile

April is not my month. I failed to pass my middle test amazingly, all I know is I left my middle test in terrible condition, sorry :( I failed to pass my first debate competition, all I know is I didn't get a best rank of speaker. Such a bad leader in a team, sorry :( I failed to pass the national speling bee competition, all I know is I've just spent a lot of money without a good result, sorry :( Pretending is the best way to hide this feeling. *big fake smile*


I Teared Up

Don't judge my today's posting by its pic. Oh please I'm not going to post something porn here, I'd rather keep it for my self *eh?*
I just got it from my Facebook last night in it was so touching my heart, I was crying. Don't worry you don't have to share this story, it is not a chain message so just relax. It would give you time to think and perhaps could save your bad marriage or bad relationship. Happy reading and prepare tissues :')

Married or not you should read this...

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Here's the link, at least my pic is more polite than the original one ;)



Woman With PMS Is More Dangerous

If you’re a boy, I’m sure you’re giggling right now by watching the picture above. Not only giggling but also agree with that deep inside your heart. How about me? Yes, me. I’m a girl and extremely support that.

Uhm, don’t determine my statement literally. I don’t really mean to stay during a week in my room with that “yellow warning” on my door. PMS is stands for Pre-Menstruation Syndrome. I am as the girl always get those kind of symptomps. And the most annoying symptomp is a mood-swing, you know, the changing of mood in sudden. Now you are in a good mood to do anything but believe me, in the next minutes, you don’t have the good mood left. All you want to do is getting mad because everything is not as fine as before, you believe that everybody makes mistakes in front of you on that day. No one right except you. If you’re a girl and you feel the same, clap your hands!

That’s why I support the picture above. But please, once again, not in literally. I mean, if you already know that you almost get your period and you feel that sympomp, please just stay away from another, don’t make a long convo with them. It is just an anticipation to avoid misunderstanding among your friends or between your boyfriend. Sometimes when you’re in a PMS phase, you’re easy to get offended, that’s why you better stay away from a long convo. Joking is allowed as long as you can handle yourself. Don’t let yourself ruin your own day with others. Some of them are understand and some of them are not, especially your boyfriend. In this phase, most of couple get in a short fighting based in the little thing and the boys with his logic don’t understand us. Poor him, they always get blamed.

The solution? Just be a sensitive person, if you realize that your girlfriend is getting mad for some unimportant things, stay away. Some of girls are don’t realize that they’re in a PMS phase so they can’t handle herself. Or perhaps you find your girlfriend not in the good mood to do anything with you, it could be the symptomp. Don’t try to launch some jokes, or you’ll face the awkward moment, they always set the pokerface up.

How about me? Am I always realize that I’m in the PMS phase? Uhm, sometimes. Hehe. Sometimes I can handle my self and sometimes I can’t. It is depend on the condition but I prefer to give my blank expression and keep silent. Or................................curse anyone that annoy me on that day, LOL.

Him: “How about have a dinner together with me?”

Me: “Oh sh*t, you wanna make me getting fat or what? I don’t get it why all the boys see the girls only by her appearance. Who do they think they are? Robert Pattinson? Antonio Banderas? Eewh.

Him: “But I just wanna ask for din....”

Me: “STFU! You are same with others.”

Him: “............”


Convo Class And Dora The Explorer

Sooo, today is my first time to come in the convo class held by Formasi, english club of university level. You know, I have a big problem to speak English fluently in front of people. Every students who come in this convo class is forced to speak up in front of the other students. Okay, this is conversation class but I feel like in the public speaking class. When the senior gave us some advices to speak fluently, I really want to say that I've already tried all his ways to make us speak up, but still no big result (for me). I always speak in front of the mirror, I laways act like a nut when I'm lonely in the room by speaking English alone. Yes! Alone! And it works only on that time, I can speak fluently in English. Then he said that we need to have a friend which good in speaking English. Yeah, I have some and I always try to act like an American when I speak to her, and it is so easy, no difficulty. But it become so different when the condition forces me to speak in front of audiences, or to the senior that more expert than me. I become so nervous, my heart beats faster, I got my hand so cold and I just speak blah blah blah. Poor me :(

And now the time for sharing my experience today in my first convo class. After introducing and warming up, the senior divided us into 5 groups and asked us to make a short drama, and every actor/actress has to speak. He only gave us 15 minutes for discussing. Thankyou -_-
After 5 minutes, we decided to take one of the Dora The Explorer's episodes as our drama. And you know what, the leader in my team picked me as Dora since I have a short hair. Thankyou very much.
I don't know why but finally we got the first turn to show our drama. Just imagine how nervous I am! But I could pass it through well, uhm, not to well I think. Because I made some blockings and spoke not too clearly, once again, those are my opinion, I don't know how the adjudicators see our team.
But in the end, the senior announced the top 3 speakers on this week and believe it or not, I got the third grade :) So happy but it doesn't make me so arrogant anyway. At least, they confess my existence in the world, hahaha, how hyperbole I am.

Okay, this is not a good ending for today's posting but, happy speaking everybody :D


Thinking Inside The Box part II

This is my second posting with the same theme, thinking inside the box. Why? Y U NO BORED? *9GAG's style*
No, this is not about the boredom it self but it is awkward to find this kind of pic while I still thinking inside the box at debate class. So, there was a debate class today in AEC and unfortunately I got the class in the same time. But the fortune was on my side tonight, the lecturer couldn't come on today's class *quickpartyontheclass*
Without a doubt, I went to the AEC basecamp and it was so crowded, wow, I never see the high enthusiasm in this debate class. Most of them are too afraid in debating and me too. Yes, I'm afraid in debating class but I always have a big willing to try something new. That's make me so extremely different with the others. Hahaha *evillaugh*

Okay, so tonight the senior gave us some extreme motions to debate, well, not too extreme for me since I often watching a good debate competition. He gave us transgender, suiciding, and pregnant student as the extreme motions. Okay it is so common in debating world but still, I couldn't deliver a deep and a good analyzing due to my habit, thinking inside the box. I'm not trying to blame my self anyway, since everything needs a process, even the diamond! But I hate how slow I am, it takes a long time for me to built a good argument. My senior has a good progress, and he said when he was a beginner, he also had a difficulty to make and deliver a good argument to the adjudicators. But I think he did it well, his team is adorable now, all of them are expert in debating. I'm proud as their junior and I don't think they proud of having a junior like me. Poor me, huhuhu :(

So, how long it takes to make me become a good debater?


Beautifully Straight

Believe me, that's me. Yeah, with the air blows my hair and my cute eyes without sunny :D
Okay, back to the reality, technically I have a short hair as the picture above but I don't have those beautiful eyes. I just found that picture at otaku Tumblr. Actually, this picture just reflects how I really want to be looked like this in a windy day, stay cute. Impossible but I bet every girls have a same wish as me. All you need is just confess that.

But in this case I don't want to spend my money on hair spa and make my hair as straight as wire, so it's still neat in every condition. My hair is beautifully straight and it is a great gift from God. Though it wouldn't blow beautifully in a windy day but thanks God, it's straight!


Quote For You, Prime Suspect

Don’t tell me you’re sorry cause you’re not
Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show
You really had me going
But now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now
Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone

You better hurry up
Before the sprinklers come on

Talkin’ bout'
Girl, I love you, you’re the one
This just looks like a re-run
Please, what else is on

Rihanna-Take A Bow


You Got One New Friend

Today was so a lovely day with AEC family and Bella Mao. Who is Bella Mao?
Bella is a senior high school student from Taiwan that come to Malang. She is a cute girl with a cute pronouncation. The first time she introduced herself, I thought her name was Pei La. She has a difficulty to say "B" and "P". Maybe it's quite similar for her. Whatever, I also don't have a good pronouncation, esp in Mandarin. Kekeke~

Well, the attendance of Bella is quite surprise us, because nobody knows that she will come. Actually, our event today was Rujak Party with AEC family, celebrating the end of examination, our last gathering event before vacation. Then suddenly Nanda came with Chinese girl. Her name is Bella Mao and she is from Taiwan. Bella was so friendly, she got chummy with AEC family easily. She made a rujak sauce for the first time for us, the taste was so spicy. Good job, Bella! :D

After we took a lot of photos as documentation, we went back to the AEC basecamp with Bella Mao. She taught us Mandarin language and all of us became her students. It's quite difficult to pronounce a word in Mandarin. After that, she started to promote about Taiwan by using the powerpoint. Slide by slide, we took a look on those slides with a high enthusiasm.

Here are some photos of today. I know the first photo is kind of weirdo but I like it. :D

By the way, tomorrow is a Chinese New Year, I know I'm not good at it but "GONG XI FA CAI!!!"
May this year would bring prosperity and good fortune :D


New Habbit For New Hobby

That picture is sooooo me. It reflects me so well. Just imagine that the girl in the picture is me with the box in the head. You got what I mean?

Well, I'm that kind of that person, always thinking inside the box. I always see a problem or a case by the rules, I don't really dare to find the newest or the extreme solution. This habit is totally bad for my new hobby. Debating.

*Debating? Hellooo? Everyone do that thing, what you just called it? Hobby?*

Whatever. I’m not talking about an ordinary debate like we usually do when we keep arguing with our mommy. What I’m gonna talking about is debate competition in English. This kind of activity forces us to think outside the box. See? Outside the box. *why?* Let me make it easy for you. If you hear the word “abortion”, what would pop in your mind? Killing an innocent embrio? I guess so. I’m sure you’re not agree with this kind of action. Buuuut, what if you have to agree with it? What if you have to emphasize this statement by delivering some evidences to make it stronger? What would you do?

That’s what I’ve talked about, debating competition is teach us to see a problem not only in one side but also in other sides. That’s why, this kind of activity force me to think outside the box. Because in debate competition we always find a new and an unique problem to debate called MOTION. It could be educational problems such as, “Students are allowed to use handphone during the class” or “Homeschooling is better than public school”. Or maybe about health problem like “Marijuana is allowed since cigarette does”. Also social and culture problems such as, “Celebrate Valentine day is useless since it is not our culture as Indonesian” and “Reality shows on television help the children to grow up well”. Sounds weird? Yeah, but this is debating world. And now, I’m trying to love this activity. Actually debate is not really new for me, I know it since I was in high school but it is totally different. In high school, we don’t know about A-R-E-L (Assertion-Reason-Evidence-Link Back), A-R-E-L would help us to arrange a good speech in debate, so, at that time, we only speech and deliver the evidence to the adjudicators. *or maybe my english teacher in my school doesn’t know about A-R-E-L, so, she doesn’t tell us*

Just fyi, I’m still learning, I spell, l-e-a-r-n-i-n-g.

What would you do if you find this motion, “Everybody believes that I’m more beautiful than Dakota Fanning” *.............................................................................................................................................*

Just pretend you don’t read that motion. Thanks.


They Are Totally Normal, Just Like Us

Hello! Readers to the eaaarth. I know you can't take off your eyes now by seeing those pictures. Instead of seeing those picture, what if you compare them? Yeah, the upper and the bottom picture. Find the diferences and I give you 5 minutes. *time goes by so slowly* Well, have you done it? Ok, just keep it and start to read my posting today. First, I want to reveal their identity. *for those who don't realize them at the first sight*

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio with and without make up.

Also without: their hair professionally done, professional lighting, shadows and angles and the ever present usage of professional digital editing software such as Photoshop.

And guess what…they look normal. Just like any other woman. Unless you get all of the above mentioned perks too, it’s not fair to compare yourself to manipulated photographs of normal looking women.

Use your eyes and see that what you’re killing yourself to look like is fake and manufactured beauty. Those women look just fine without all of the bullshit they do to make them deemed socially sexy… and so do you.

And what about K-pop Idol? Are they fake too? Honestly, I'm lil bit obsessed with Korean girlband............................................ *just pretend this sentence is invisible*


(I Hope) Everything Is Alright

Hello (again) -_-

I post twice in a day, I don’t know why, maybe I’ve left this blog so long and now I miss it so damn much.

I’ve done my first Final Exam as a female college student and it was’t exciting. Because this is my first semester, I still have a short schedule of examination, 4 days, 7 subjects. First day, I faced it without any latticeworks, so I tried hard on this day, Religion and English. I finished my religion book on one night and it works, alhamdulilah. And then, English time, there were 2 parts of questions and we had to choose one of them. I decided to do the first part, it seemed so easy, easier than TOEIC test. Hahaha.

Second day, Citizenship Education and Organization Theory and Administration. These subject forced me to provide a large capacity on my brain. I had to memorize all the materials, the lecturer didn’t want to give us a latticeworks. Fine. We always find the way (evil laugh). Asking a lot of friends, trying to find the latticeworks then I did it. I could pass the second day with a little smile, well, some questions are same with latticeworks, but most of them were totally different. GRAAAWWR!!

This is the most annoying day, Taxation and Bahasa Indonesia. Well, my Bahasa Indonesia’s lecturer was a kind-hearted woman, she let us to get the latticeworks from her, we only answer it at home and memorize it. Simple. The big problem is Taxation. All the Taxation lecturers didn’t want to say anything about the questions. Seemed they’d made an agreement to not to spread the questions among the students. THANKS. IT GOT ME FRUSTATED. BUNGEE JUMPING THEN! Then, the day had come. It was a totally terrible Taxation Examination, the most difficult questions, they asked us to make an short article even!! (At least a half of folio, or more). TRIPLE GRAAAAWWR!!! MERDE!!

The last day, Accounting I. Honestly, this is my favo subject, luckily I got a super duper genius lecturer. But his assignments are annoying and force us to be a diligent student. And the problem is, the exam would take manufacturing company as one of its questions. HAA? He hasn’t given us the detail explanation of manufacturing company. He only explained the differences between manufacturing company and trading company. OHMYGOD! SAVE MY ACCOUNTING EXAMINATION :’(

I’m not sure that I’ve passed all the days well, but I’ve done my best, just don’t talk about examination anymore. I want to enjoy my days-off before the new semester begin. New semester, new subjects, new atmosphere. New buddies? I don’t think so, I still hope I would get the same class with my buddies from my old class, Sarah a.k.a Oel and Nadya a.k.a Si Anak Mulia.

Well, does anyone know how to do KRS?


This gonna be the most random posting that I ever made, uhm, maybe only in this period. Who knows someday I’ll come with another random postings. Who knows. I have a random mood, I have a random idea, simply you can call me ‘random-girl’.

So, take a look on my upper picture, then identify it. Did you get the most famous fairytale-book on it? No, I’m not talk about the mug with Marie-cat as the picture. What I want to show you is “The Tales of Beedle The Bard”, fairytale-book on the Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallow. I found this picture when I was Tumblring last night. I don’t know why, I heart this picture at the first sight. Perhaps the lighting of the picture makes it catchy? Or the red cupcake looks delicious? I don’t know. Who knows.

I have this book too, my friend gave it to me as my birthday gift, how lucky I am  I still remember how excited I am to receive this book, you know, I love everything about Harry Potter. It was a great birthday gift, believe me. It didn’t take a long time to finish it, good story written by J.K. Rowling. You know her style 

I took that shoot, I mean the bottom picture, when I was on eleventh grader. Then I found that old photo on my handphone. Gotta make a little change on it to make it nice.

Enjoy! Eureka!